Wives: Am I A Burning Flame Thrower In Discussions With My Husband?

Am I A Burning Flame Thrower In Discussions With My Husband? ~ Bobbi Raffin #bobbiraffin #aprontalk

Sometimes, as wives we can get very frustrated and even frantic if our spouse is not ‘getting’ what we are trying to communicate to them.

The more negative and loud we get the more they close up or are harsh with us. I am learning that I tend to raise my volume the more invested in the discussion I am.

This is taken as disrespectful by most men. They would be blown away if one of their buddies came at them with such burning flame thrower. They may have a tendency to strike back with a warriors stance or just walk away to show their respect in order not to keep the argument going.

We, as women, usually don’t mind these discussions and we may even feel it is a way to bond. The issue is most spouses do not speak in each others languages. So, what you may see as helpful or as a bonding conversation your husband may see as ridicule and something he needs to escape.

“Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means hurt you.” Luke 10:19 King James

Tread means to walk over, take ground, to RESIST, and take action.

We need to Respect our husbands. This actually very much aligns with the above verse. This is not only our Armor, but also our Godly Weapon. 🙂 We need to understand that respect is not as much of a feeling as it is an action and it is a part of submission. Submission does NOT mean we are to become doormats!! It is actually learning to speak our husbands language – Respect. That’s it. Respect. Ours is Love… Hmmm – More on this for men in a bit. 🙂

1 Peter 3 – The Message (MSG) (Cultivate Inner Beauty) – 3 1-4 The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes—but your inner disposition.

4-6 Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in. The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way, and were good, loyal wives to their husbands. Sarah, for instance, taking care of Abraham, would address him as “my dear husband.” You’ll be true daughters of Sarah if you do the same, unanxious and unintimidated.

Regaining our posture and composure; AND then speaking to our husbands with respect does not take away our rights or power. In fact it does the opposite. It EMPOWERS us, ladies!

Speak the positive and take the negative to God.

We are all in a process. I am more in the process than anyone! 🙂 I Thank God that  every morning brings a new opportunity to start over and maybe get it right the next time something comes up.


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About Bobbi Raffin

I help people start & grow their own businesses. Whether you are a complete newbie or a Solo-Entrepreneur you can become a Happy Camper while working at home. I offer some helpful tips for getting your business going. You don't have to know it all to start ~ You just have to Start! My husband & I also talk about Marriage and Blended Family issues while walking in faith. It all blends together in this life. Be sure to sign up for our Newsletter, The aNews Subscription so you are sure to get all of our updates. I'll be offering some fantastic eBooks ~ so don't miss them. Make this day the Best Day Ever...

  • Be sure to leave a comment and let me know what you think. 🙂

  • ShanynSilinski

    Oh yes the languages we speak as men and woman are so different but when we take it back to speaking out of love and respect we find some common ground. Thanks for sharing this, wise words indeed!

  • ShanynSilinskiThank you so much. What a learning process life and marriage can be. 🙂 Have a beautiful new year, friend!!

  • katwil5

    Nice article. I will repost in a group I manage called Virtuous Women https://www.facebook.com/groups/Virtuouswomaninthemaking/

  • katwil5Thank you so much.  I really appreciate it. 🙂

  • ModernHomesteader47804

    Thank you so much for the article! I actually sent my fiance the link. Hopefully he will read the first half, realize why I get the way I get and then read the second half and realize that I am making an effort to learn his language. 🙂

  • MommyMakesTheTripleThreatThank you also. 🙂 I really do hope it helps. I’ll be writing one for husbands soon about how wives need their love and good attitudes.

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