In the first segment of this article – ‘What Is The Husbands Role In Marriage – Even When Things Get Difficult? Part 1′ – we talked about first the role of the husband and then that of the wife as is stated in Colossians & Ephesians.
Colossians 3:19 “Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.”
Ephesians 5:28 “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church.”
Now let us take up where we left off…
We, as wives, are still commanded to respect our husbands, but tell me one woman who truly respects a man who does not show her love, treats her kindly, nor stands for her. It is very difficult for her to say the least.
IF your husband is showing you (the wife) love, treats you kindly, and stands for you, for goodness sakes please give your husband a break.
We are all human and we all make mistakes. And frankly, sometimes guys just don’t get it. You know what I mean.
Men do not think like women. Although, they DO feel even if they do not show it in the same way women do. Women need to protect their husbands heart just as the husband needs to protect a woman’s.
Marriage is one of the hardest things to do. Make it a remarriage or blended family (step-family) and you have walked into somewhat of a lion’s den. If either of you allow family to hurt your spouse your marriage will suffer greatly.
It’s not easy to get over certain wounds. It’s best not to inflict them in the first place and PLEASE – Never knowingly allow other people to wound your spouse.
Sometimes it is right to stay quiet and then there are times to stand up and speak out for your spouse. You don’t need to be rude to the other person, but you should tell them that it is not okay with you that they do what they are doing. This really should apply no matter who the person is!
Who else does your spouse have to speak up for them, but YOU?
Your heart should be strong and unbreakably-loyal to your spouse. ‘Let no one undo what God has joined together.’
“Real love doesn’t change when the circumstances around it change. Real love stays with it even when the circumstances are fighting against that feeling or fighting against the flesh. Real love bears, believes, hopes, and endures, and that’s what a husband’s got to do. In the middle of circumstances that would press him back to his selfishness, he’s got to endure, he’s got to bear, he’s got to believe and hope his wife needs him to provide that kind of commitment, stability, and certainty in their marriage that says, “I’m going to love you no matter what you do, no matter what the circumstances are, I’m here for you and for us for good.” Written by Bob Lepine, from the Familylife.com radio broadcast, The Christian Husband: Loving Your Wife, part 2
During an argument or a disagreement never, never, EVER tell your spouse that you do not love them, that you are miserable with them, or that you regret being with them.
You may temporarily feel things during a fight that you truly do not feel about your spouse. Although, once something like that is said it is extremely hard to forget and heal from.
LOVE during your fights!!
We must all lay down our pride and not be afraid to be humble for our spouse. Set some ground rules for those arguments. None of us want to fight, but every marriage will have disagreements.
You are two separate people trying to be one ~ You are trying to blend two separate lives into one. Especially if you are a blended family (a step-family).
Will Not Do:
- We will not scream.
- We will not name call.
- We will not accuse.
- We will not interrupt.
- We will not bring up past wrongs.
- We will not bring up past relationships.
- We will not counter the other persons comments.
- We will really listen.
- We will care about the other persons view point and feelings.
- We will respond to the persons comment respectfully with how it made them feel and how we understand how they would feel about that.
- We will express our own needs and feelings calmly and with respect.
- We will make a safe environment for both parties to share vulnerability, hurts, and fear.
What are some do’s and don’ts you would add to this list? We would love to hear your comments about both Part 1 and Part 2 (this post) of this article series.