This is true! Although, a marriage cannot thrive without intimate & safe communication either… It will be difficult for a woman (for some men also) to continue with intimate touch if the safe communication is not in place.
- Do you listen or do you gather your response while your spouse is talking?
- Do you respond with sarcasm?
- Do you give your spouse haughty, smirking, or mocking looks while they are talking?
These responses can crush your spouses heart and it will end up building a wall in between you both. Let the wall down.Who cares if you’re right or not. Don’t fight to be right – fight FOR your spouses heart. Be humble & caring.
One person at a time needs to be on the receiving end… Yes, both need to be heard, but it will not happen if both parties are trying to talk at the same time. That is what I call ‘chaotic argument’. It is a very destructive form of communication.
Take turns in sharing if you both have hurts. Just make sure to acknowledge and show you care about the person who is speaking BEFORE you begin to express your side or your hurts. We ALL need to be heard and understood.
This is not focus on just the husband AND it is not focused on just the wife.
BOTH parties need to come together, decide and be committed to communicating in a loving and caring manner. I promise if you do this from the start you will find the fights do not last as long. 🙂 That would be nice – wouldn’t it??
Also, PLEASE – do not give your spouse the silent treatment. This hurts the other person. Don’t be afraid or too prideful to go to the other person first and ask to talk about things.
Sometimes, there is one spouse who usually holds back from initiating the resolution. If you have this tendency, surprise your loved one and start this first. They will appreciate it.
Whoever begins talking about their feelings first should be heard first…not interrupted or ‘countered’ back on. Just listen.
Do you have any suggestions or other techniques you use to communicate or even argue effectively? Let us know in the comments. We would love to hear about them.